Ah, but do you actually go out with any body online? I think that many folks on dating sites are already in relationships and use dating sites as a fantasy vehicle. Others are just shy and no amount of coaxing is going to get them to actually meet in person. The people easy to meet in person are the people you personally meet in your everyday life. Or, at least I suspect as much.

Sorry to hear you are having problems with some of the guys in Internet Land. Par for the course? Any successes to report?

I don't promise anyone anything I can't deliver on. I have flirted but mostly with women (I hope!) who were just not going to happen in any sense of the word due to geography, life situation, etc.

I once was hanging at a poolhall and started playing pool with a guy who was busy waiting for some woman he had met over the internet and talked to over the phone for "several months" to showup on her trip out to California "to visit relatives". In any case, he had apparently been waiting for three days and had not heard from her in a week. That sucks. However, its also to be expected. He kept his cellphone with him at all times, he said, in case she called. I could only shake my head and get back to playing pool.

I think, unfortunately, that the anonymity of the Internet breeds callousness when it comes to the feelings and intentions of others online. That's really too bad but its also the way it is. If you are still willing to put up with it, it might work out for you...if it hasn't already?

I, for one, am pretty upfront about it. As its gradually sunk in, I've gotten less and less contacts. I never lead anyone on if I can help it. If I tell someone I intend to see them I will...if its mutual.

Have you had much success just meeting people in your life offline? Why do you use online dating? I don't. I have fun with looking at all the cool charts on okcupid and have corresponded with a few men and women who I felt were interesting. But, I have not yet told someone I'd like to meet them in person (that I can recall anyway). Now I'm feeling defensive and I don't really understand why. I guess though that I'm not a "dater" in the sense that you mean...I'm more a "writer" who just likes to yak about whatever interests me!

Heh, there are girls from the internet who are just the same way. They'll even talk on the phone, but just try to meet any of them face to face. Personally, if I "meet" someone online, then I want to meet them in person very quickly, because people are very different online than they are in person. You can know things about a person via the internet, but you can't truly know them as people. Meeting quickly also prevents any false emotions from building up that only lead to heartache when things fail to work out after a protracted emotional investment in a person you can't even enjoy the company of.